What Matters Most To You In Life Right Now?
Where were you a year ago compared to where you are today? How different does your life look? My life received a transplant from a person I had no idea I could be. The core-shaking experiences I faced could play out in one of two ways with a single decision. Life was happening to me, or life was happening for me. It was preparing me for a life I never knew I could have. It forced me to decide for the first time in my life, what the hell was important to me right now?
Starting out on my own as a solopreneur felt like I was dropped in Japan without any understanding of the culture or language. My knowledge of running a business hovered around zero. Turns out that's a huge advantage. You don't know what you don't know and that's a blessing when you're starting out. I saw how others hunted for rules and proven systems to follow when starting their Coaching business. They wanted dogma-like instructions they could follow to the tee. I left a career of working for others so I could pursue unrestricted choice. When it comes to running your own business, choice is freedom. And freedom is the drug that fuels innovation.
Freedom is the carrot dangling from the stick of entrepreneurship that keeps me from seeking full-time employment again. Freedom to work with who I want to. Freedom to decide what's important for me to me to act on. Freedom to set a schedule that serves what's important in my life. Freedom from boredom. Freedom to do what I love, every fucking day.
There is life how it is, and life how we think it should be. The more we cling to the shoulds, the more we struggle.
Where many of us struggle to find fulfillment is in thinking we can put life on hold. Letting the focus of our time and energy drift into the lane of should be. It's hard not to in a world of superficial social media bullshit. It's a rabbit hole of impostor syndrome, living in a professionally-curated fantasy world. You might be thinking Jesus Christ dude, what are you so worked up about? I experienced the soul-sucking comparison firsthand. It paralyzed me when I first started my business. I'd question myself: Who was I to be doing this? I got wrapped up in what everyone else was doing, rather than embracing my own unique perspective that sets me apart. Sure, there are other Coaches out there, but who has faced identical experiences to mine? No one. Similar experiences, yes, but not identical. That gives me a worldview that no one else has.
I've grown and learned more about myself in the last year than I have in the previous decade. I owe it all to sitting with the discomfort of not knowing where this path will lead. It feels so much easier to take the path well travelled. And in a lot of ways, it is. At least in appearance. If your guiding philosophy is seeking the path of least resistance, life will reflect your unwillingness to dance with fear. It does not reward those who sit idle. It's not too late. You are not behind. You're exactly where you need to be. Every step is necessary.
You're not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or a week ago. You're always growing. Experiences don't stop. When I said there is life how it is and there's life how we think it should be, I'm talking about the moments happening in the present. How you experience your day-to-day is how you experience life.
Don't judge or rip yourself apart for how long your journey is taking. We all need our own time to figure shit out. Give yourself credit for how far you've come. But I urge you to answer the following question with the belief that your life depends on it. Cue dramatic music. What truly does matter most to you in life right now? If you're focused solely on what your life should be like, you're flushing the energy you need to make said changes down the drain. Where focus goes, energy flows. Where energy flows, things grow.
What you focus on matters. It matters more than any other decision in your life. The focus of my life took a dramatic turn one year ago. I set my sights on what I wanted out of life and took the steps to refocus my energy to leading a happy, healthy, purpose-driven life on my own terms. It turns out, all I needed to start this journey was to give myself permission to pursue it a little bit each day, no matter what anyone else thinks. There's a big difference between giving up and starting over in the right direction.