Are You Facing A Tough Decision? This One Is For You.
“If you’re not making mistakes, then you’re not making decisions.”
Starting again can often feel like a failure. Like you somehow screwed up or made a choice that veered you off course into the iceberg that sunk the ship. This idea that everything needs to be scrapped is what gives it such an emotional sting. Sometimes the dread of having to tell people that you've given up feels more gut-wrenching than the decision to toss in the towel. Yet if we think about what we're really after; are we ever really starting over again if we're taking lessons away from an experience?
There’s a constant battle that plays out in my mind (with or without my direct involvement). It's the opposing forces of who I am and the person I think I should be. The latter is the idea that often keeps us going and pushing forward, even when we're in battles that we no longer want to fight. The guilt of "giving up" feels like you're letting your friends and family down. Yet, we lose sight of the fact that they probably don't even care. They want what's best for us, in the same way, we want to see them happy and will support them in any way we can.
Being a human is a messy experience that we all have the pleasure of going through together.
"The thing is, you never really start over," said author Auston Kleon in his book Keep Going. "You don't lose all the work that's come before. Even if you try to toss it aside, the lessons you've learned from it will seep into what you do next."
You're never actually giving up unless you're Captain Edward Smith and made the unfortunate decision to push on and sink the Titanic in the North Atlantic Ocean. He gave up on the idea that he always had a choice. There were lessons to be learned from that voyage; but instead of him being the teacher, he became the lesson.
This is what Kleon was hinting at when he said, "So don't think of it as starting over. Think of it as beginning again." Pushing on while ignoring the warning signals is not a sign of strength. It comes from a place of weakness because we're afraid to confront the truth that is staring back.
Most of our struggles in life come from our own shit and a perspective that does nothing to serve us. It's as author Alain De Botton said, "Anyone who isn't embarrassed of who they were last year probably isn't learning enough."
So, what is failure? It's an inability to see the gift it is. It's an opportunity to change course and avoid the iceberg.
My question to you: What about this moment makes it the perfect time to begin again? What are you going to let go of? And what will this make possible for you?
