What The Golden Trinity Teaches You About Building A Meaningful Life
“Rules for happiness: something to do, someone to love, something to hope for.”
What is standing between you and the life you want? I can see you lost in thought. Sleepless nights, daydreaming and the frustration of not being able to put the pieces of the puzzle together. You're drumming over all the shit getting in your way. You're annoyed by the things that don't come easy. You're lost on where to start. The frustration is infuriating because you know deep down in your heart that you want to do something incredible with your life. Take a deep breath my friend because I'd like to introduce you to the golden trinity that takes the guessing out of how to get there.
Would you build a house without a plan? Then why would you think you could build a life without a plan? Oh right, no one ever taught you how. I'll save the blame-game for another day, but this is a sobering reflection of how little our education system does to set you up for a happy, healthy and meaningful life.
You've dreamed of a postcard-perfect piece of land that sits atop a hill with a clear view that points east. The thought of waking up each morning to sip coffee and take in the sunrise on your wraparound porch is like soaking your stress in a bubble bath. This dream becomes your escape while you push on and say one day.
Here's the problem, you left it all to luck. You didn't communicate what you want.
A real estate agent pulled the trigger on your behalf in a "desirable location" close to the highway. She also failed to mention you're stuck living beside a meat processing plant. You're not sure which way your house is pointing because you're in the basement of a condo complex.
Would you let someone else make these choices for you?
Author James Clear has invested his life into researching the habits and strategy that world-class performers use to get what they want in life. We tend to think of these things as being beyond what we're capable of; far too complicated, need an MBA to understand and expensive to implement.
Except the reality is much like anything else in life. Things are only about as complicated as you make them out to be.
Thinking about what to eat for breakfast, what socks to throw on, what podcast you want to listen to for your commute to work, are all leading to a very real thing called decision fatigue.
It's said that the average person makes 35,000 decisions a day.
There's a reason Barack Obama only wears gray or blue suits, Mark Zuckerberg throws on the same gray Brunello Cucinelli t-shirt, and Steve Jobs sported the iconic black turtleneck.
Cutting needless decision making from your life gives you the energy to invest in the decisions that matter.
Clear broke it down even further, sharing the golden trinity that leads to a meaningful life of impact.
Your luck (randomness).
Your strategy (choices).
Your actions (habits).
Having someone strip you of the decision to choose where you live is no crazier than leaving the choice of what you want to do with your life up to wherever the wind blows. These are not decisions that you leave to luck or lump in with what colour socks to wear.
Your lifestyle and habits match your strategy. People who live without strategy drift aimlessly in life. “If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favorable.” A thought shared by Roman philosopher Seneca some 2,000 years ago.
The good news? Only two of the three are under your control, so these are where you put your energy. "But if you master those two," Clear found in his research, "you can improve the odds that luck will work for you rather than against you."
Choose your destination before the 34,999 other decisions you're going to make today.
Put your priorities where they should be, ahead of everything else. Getting clear on your destination means you can map out the most effective and efficient path to get there. You won't be able to change the direction of the wind, but you can adjust your sails to reach your destination.
Worrying that you're going to make a mistake should be the least of your worries and here's why.
"Though it is a privilege, the freedom of choice comes at a real cost," CEO of the BulletJournal Maxwell Ryan pointed out. Because "each choice requires us to make a decision. Each decision requires focus. Focus costs us our most precious currency: our energy and time."
You're going to make mistakes. You're going to have failures along the way. You're going to have moments where you want to give up. This is what makes it a meaningful life. This is the work you put in because “twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do," Mark Twain wrote. "So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore! Dream! Discover!”
