Are You Living The Life Of Your Choosing?

Life is what it is, and you either accept it or you don’t. Either you let the current sweep you out to sea, or you swim against the current as it sweeps you out to sea.
— Aaron Thier
Life of your choosing

Are You Living The Life Of Your Choosing?

Photo by Tim Bogdanov on Unsplash

You are even if you don't think you are. Your willingness to live with your current circumstances is indeed a choice. One we perhaps wouldn't care to admit. Because who in their right mind would choose to stay in a job they hate? Or put themselves through the pain of a dysfunctional relationship? I've done both. On more than one occasion might I add. I had a willingness to accept fate as being out of my control. An easier pill to swallow than taking ownership over all my shit. It took a sobering realization, if I wanted to live a life on my own terms, I had to be the one in control. An unwillingness to accept my current circumstances meant a collision course with uncomfortable.

Think about the agony you put yourself through with avoidance. I've cleaned my toilet to dodge making a phone call. Did laundry to push off writing an email. Hell, I've written blockbuster screenplays to avoid the inevitable breakup conversation. Whatever the hell it is, there's something you should be doing but you're not. These are drops in the bucket. But are they really?

Practice makes perfect. If you get in the habit of avoidance, leaving life to chance, you'll be a pro-star in no time. Habits make you or they break you. Your willingness to tolerate the "unavoidable" becomes a default reactionary model. Life happens to me, rather than for me. Your will to make decisions, see choice and recognize opportunity sounds and feels like positive mumbo jumbo. You're a victim to your circumstances. Woe is me, I'll always work jobs I hate, get stuck in toxic relationships, and pine after what others have. This is all I am and ever will be.

If you're unwilling to change the story you tell yourself then I agree, that's all you ever will be. You are what you repeatedly tell yourself you are. You are a product of your thinking. You live in the cognitive triangle.

Cognitive Triangle

This applies to positive or negative thoughts. And both can happen unconsciously. In most cases, we have no idea we're even having these thoughts. They go unchallenged and become the filter we see the world through.

Your thoughts and feelings won't always align with what's in the best interest of your life. Especially when you choose not to engage in the conversation. You're driven further from your potential by what you think, feel and internalize.

We all struggle. A daily tug of war with the same thoughts, over and over. We're good enough, we're smart enough, we have what it takes. Moments later questioning our very existence. What we tell ourselves is critical to the life we want to lead. Do you feed the fire? Letting those thoughts conjure up feelings of inadequacy. You were kidding yourself, thinking you were something more than you are. What actions do you think follow that train of thought and feelings?

The self-sabotaging kind. Reaffirming that your thoughts and feelings were spot-on, you aren't good enough! You'll never amount to anything so why bother? We'll avoid risk it all cost, safety is our priority rather than growth. We assume others are destined for greatness, we were dealt a shitty hand. As Henry Ford said whether you think you're right or you think you're wrong, you're right either way.

You could be doing anything right now. Yet, you're reading about personal development and growth. Why? You see that the feelings of inadequacy and frustration are only as right as you believe they are. You want to ditch the average life. You're in search of one with complete flexibility and the freedom to live life on your own terms.

Creating a fundamental shift sounds daunting. Start by shifting your language. I will be a writer is what I used to tell myself. Thinking of a far-off day where I could consider myself a writer. Who was I to declare myself a writer? Notice the voice creeping in you're not good enough. The more I told myself I will be a writer, the less I actually wrote. My fundamental shift came when I started telling myself I am a writer. What do writers do? They write. I write everyday. I write for my blog, I submit articles to other websites but now, I write for myself. I write in a journal every morning and reflect on my thoughts in the evening. I miss days here and there but I don't beat myself up and neither should you. Everyday you write, meditate, exercise, eat healthy, or choose to say I am... and do the subsequent action, millions of other people did not. Be proud of yourself. You're an incredible once-in-a-lifetime gift to the world.

Finish this sentence - I am _____________.

Share it in the comments. Write it on a post-it note and slap it on the fridge, tell your cat, SAY IT OUT LOUD, you are what you repeatedly do. This has the potential to change your life like you've never experienced before. The belief that you are who you think you are comes from driving it home with repetition.

The life of a dog in his own perspective.