The art of designing a fulfilling life with purpose isn't a set of teachings or formula we can memorize. It's a practice that requires constant work.

There is an unruly two-year-old creative inside all of us. Mine pushes me to write and reflect on the chaos of my merry-go-round of thoughts. I'm like anyone else, there's no real rhyme or reason to what I'm thinking at times. I'll beat myself up, struggle with unrealistic expectations and worry that I'm a failure. I hadn't realized this internal battle happens to everyone who identifies as human until I started opening up.

I know the exact moment I felt I could be a father. I was reading an article in GQ by author Michael Chabon. A think piece on the art and craft of writing. It sparks the thought, is fatherhood the enemy of an illustrious career? A great writer told Michael, “Don't have children.” Each one represents a novel you'll never publish. Chabon clearly ignored his advice, a father of four. He defied all odds, introducing 14 books to the world. What you’re looking for might not involve quitting your job after all.

I'm generally the guy nominated to speak on behalf of the team for projects. I think it's because I don't put up much of a fuss. It's a quick game of not it, followed by a sigh of relief as everyone else settles into the role of spectator. I never felt vulnerable because it wasn't my story. I could speak without the fear of it being all about me. But when I started Simplify Your Why, a decision to design a life on my own terms, I realized that life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

We don't control many of the things we pursue in life, yet we become angry, sad, hurt, scared or jealous when we don't get them. I believe that's because we haven't made an important distinction – the things that are in our control, versus the things we don’t have the sense to admit are outside of our control. So rather than plant your feet, learning to surf is how to be successful in life.

Being a freelancer taught me to stop playing small. Achieving perfection is not a real thing. Nor is it something we should aspire to. It slows us down, or worse, paralyzes our ability to stand out.